


When The Smoke Clears

by FabulousDrake



Category: GreedFall (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Blood and Injury, Broken Bones, Bruises, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Destroying Child Memories, Distrust, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Flashbacks, GreedFall Spoilers, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Hurt De Sardet, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Mention of Kurt's Sexual Abuse, PTSD De Sardet, Paranoia, Paranoid De Sardet, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Spoilers, dissociating, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-01-26 18:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21378436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabulousDrake/pseuds/FabulousDrake
Summary: After being forced to be the one to put an end to Constantin's madness, something deep in Lady De Sardet broke; she never fully recovered from hearing Constantin beg her to join him, or from hearing him draw his final breath. All she could think about was what would have happened if she didn't stop him, if she had joined him instead. People insist she made the right decision, and deep down, she knows this to be true, but she can't think straight when the guilt and the blood on her hands won't wash away, even when her fingers are blistered and red from scrubbing. Soon, the past burns into the present, and she loses touch of who she is.
Relationships: Constantin d'Orsay & De Sardet, De Sardet & Siora (GreedFall), De Sardet & Vasco (GreedFall), Kurt & De Sardet (GreedFall), Kurt/De Sardet (GreedFall), Petrus & De Sardet (GreedFall)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. The Death of Constantin

**Author's Note:**

> Note, this contains spoiler. But if you're reading this, you have probably finished the game or watched the playthrough. This is about a female De Sardet, and I may use a name I picked for my own De Sardet; but you are free to interpret it as your own De Sardet. 
> 
> This story only contains a romantic relationship between De Sardet and Kurt, but there may be some casual and friendly flirting; but if you are looking for De Sardet and Siora/Vasco/Aphra, look elsewhere.
> 
> With that all said, please enjoy the story and be careful with some of the triggering content ahead.

It wasn't that killing Constantin was hard, it was scary on how easy it truly was to kill him; De Sardet plunged the long dagger into his stomach and with his final breath, he collapsed to the ground. Dead. Gone. De Sardet knew he was going to die, she knew that she gathered all the factions together as one to stop him, but to actually do it? To actually end the life of the one she considered to be her own flesh and blood, despite learning otherwise? It killed her inside. As he fell down, she soon followed, laying beside her deceased cousin. She was exhausted. Long she had wished for a cure for the Malichor, one to save her cousin before it consumed him; but the cure was him dying, returning to the earth. A cure that he would never receive.

The beast she had fought with, the one once under Constantin's perverse control, had returned back to _En on mil Frichtimen_ and left her alone. The earth beneath her felt charged with energy, all the energy and power Constantin had attempted to take for his own desires. In a strange way, it was comforting to De Sardet. With the power surging beneath her, spreading back into the roots of the island and to _En on mil Frichtimen_, it warmed her back. It was like Constantin's soul spreading downward. If this was the last contact she would have with her cousin, then so be it. Shutting her eyes, she focused on the warmth beneath her and pretended like she was trapped in a fake reality; that she would wake up in her bed and see Constantin's bright eyes once more.

After what felt like an eternity, approaching footsteps and the clinking of armor snapped De Sardet out of her dazed state, and she opened her eyes to her companions. Kurt dropped down to lift her up, but he hesitated when he saw Constantin beside her. "Oh, Green Blood...," immediately, he picked her up and held her in his lap, hugging her tightly. He had hidden his own face in-between her neck and shoulder, but De Sardet felt his own tears, and she knew he did it to hide his own misery. "I should've... I shouldn't have left you to do this nasty work on your own, I cannot begin to imagine how hard it was." He whispered, only to let her hear. His tears were evident in his words; not only did De Sardet lose family, so did Kurt, although she was much closer to Constantin than he was.

"Are you alright? Are you injured?" Siora asked as she knelt down beside De Sardet and Kurt, while still giving the two space. She could not make herself glance at the monster responsible for all this, but De Sardet was her friend, and her friend had to fight family. "_Carants_... we're here now."

De Sardet sat up a bit on her own, but she was still heavily supported by Kurt. The fight had exhausted her more than she had realized, and her body ached in areas all over. "I'm... I'm fine, there's no need to worry about me right now. New Serene is now left without a leader, and without one, it may fall to chaos if it learns the truth about...," her throat tightened as she forced out the name, "... Constantin. We must elect a new governor before anything else." De Sardet had fallen into auto-pilot; if the world were to fall apart, she would always be a trained diplomat. Everyone else, however, glanced amongst one another before looking back at De Sardet. Kurt helped her stand, but he did not remove his hand from her waist; De Sardet had not noticed that his arm was the only thing from her collapsing again.

"Sweet Excellency, De Sardet... you don't need to worry about the election right now. How are you feeling?" His voice was low, low enough that it sounded rougher than usual. De Sardet assumed it was from him crying. "Judging by the various blood stains, I don't assume the fight allowed you to go unscathed." Kurt was originally scared that she had died while fighting Constantin, scared that she died alone and cold; but now, his fears were replaced with the fear of her bones being broken or organs ruptured.

"I feel fine," De Sardet retorted, starting to lean more against his chest for support. "I just think I have a few bruises. Please, can we focus on the power vacuum in New Serene? Petrus, do you have any suggestions on who should be elected?"

Petrus choked on his breath when he answered. "Actually... my child... I think Kurt is right. We should travel back and get you attended to, there are more wounded outside of this sacred place and although you may be fine, they are not. The animals inflicted deep wounds on many."

Eventually, De Sardet complied and evacuated with everyone who came to fight with the alliance. The smell of death, however, haunted her the entire way back to New Serene. Kurt handled anyone trying to discuss future plans with her and sent them on their way, De Sardet never fully heard what he said to them while she sat in the carriage, but most of it consisted of him stating that she had just saved the entire island and deserved a break. Other than that, the ride was silent, but everyone watched her with worried eyes. De Sardet did not know why they stared at her, as if she may break at any second, but she hated the unwarranted attention.

* * *

Once back at New Serene, De Sardet was at immediate attention of healers. She was forced to change out of her armor and put on a loose, grey blouse and easy to remove pants so that the healers could see the extent of her injuries. De Sardet stood in her bedroom, as stiff as a board as her eyes glared holes into her mirror. She was scared to remove her armor, she had grown accustomed to sleeping in it and wearing it all hours of the day as she travelled on foot to various native's camps and cities. But now, she had to remove something that had practically become her skin. While she got lost in her gaze, Kurt quietly walked up the stairs.

"Sweet Excellency? I was asked to check up on you," Kurt replied as he spotted her, lost in thought. Her hat was resting on her dresser, but other than that, she had refused to take off anything else. Kurt frowned at this; when he was training to protect the royal family, he had gone through atrocious events. He clung to his armor as if it could take away the pain, and it took years for him to let go of this thought. He did not want De Sardet to have to go through the same ordeals he did, but by now, it was no longer preventable. "Do... you need help?"

De Sardet didn't turn to meet his gaze, but at his offer, she started to tremble. "Please." She said it as quietly as she could muster, so much so that Kurt struggled to hear it. With permission, however, he gently approached her and raised her right arm.

Kurt smoothly slid off the armored gauntlet, exposing her cut fingers underneath and the light bruises on her knuckles; without saying anything, he removed the next gauntlet and set them down next to her hat. While still holding the left arm, he gently moved to kiss the bruised knuckles. From the constant fighting, her hands had grown sore and no longer smooth to the touch, but he still yearned for her to hold him and touch him. No matter what happened to her, Kurt would still love De Sardet until the end of times. Next came her cuirass, he had no idea on how she would react to this.

"Sweet Excellency... your injuries are temporary. They will be gone before you know it," Kurt whispered to her as he untied her cravat, she sucked in a tense breath as he touched her neck, flinching at first. "But before they can be gone, they need to heal. Then you can put your armor back on, polished and clean." De Sardet said nothing and avoided eye contact, so Kurt went silent as he slid off her cravat. Tenderly, he lifted off the armor that rest around her neck and her chest, trying to avoid brushing against any bruises he could not see. It became obvious he failed at this when she tensed and let out a pained cry when the armor brushed up against her ribs; Kurt swallowed down the flames of guilt in his throat and finished the job, setting it down on the ground.

"Constantin," Kurt forced out, "he... he didn't... stab you, right? Or strike you in the chest?" His anger was clearly expressed in his face; Kurt had some affection for the late prince, but all his devotion and love darted over De Sardet. The thought of Constantin, even in the midst of all his madness and confusion, daring to kick De Sardet in the chest enraged him. "Please, tell me he didn't."

"I... I don't want to talk about that," she replied, sounding detached and tired. "Please, Kurt. Not now."

Kurt wanted to do nothing of the sort, but the darkness in her eyes and the bags that seemed to be much more obvious now than ever made him relent for the moment. He decided to undo the belt around her coat and unstrapped the armor to her shoulders. He let these pieces of armor fall to the ground, something he did in his haste and frustration. When the metal armor smacked against the wooden ground, De Sardet lurched backwards and cried out, slamming against the wall behind her; soon fiery waves of pain coursed through her body as she sunk to the ground. She was trembling again, but this time she was curled up, her knees pressed hard against her broken chest, and sobbing. Kurt regretted letting his anger get the better of him, he couldn't stand seeing her in such a sorry state.

"De Sardet, please... please don't cry," Kurt begged as he dropped to his knee in front of her. "It was just a piece of armor, it..." All his words started to blend together while De Sardet collapsed inside; the images of her various battles burned in her mind, the smell of gunpowder and the deafening gunshots; the sounds of cries of agony, people cursing her out and others begging to see their families a last time; the numbing sensation of it all. Whenever she fought, she pretended she wasn't there; that their blood wasn’t dripping off her sword while she sheathed it, that it wasn't her fault they'd never move on to another day while she got to. Why did she get to live while so many had to die? It was sickening, all of it; it was even worse when it became less difficult to pull the trigger. When she killed the assassin that made an attempt on Mev, then on herself, she did not feel guilty because he was working in the wrong. But was everyone else she had killed working in the wrong? She killed Doctor Asili because he poisoned Constantin and started this massacre in the first place, but the poor workers stuck under him, did they deserve to die? She had killed so many Bridge Alliance soldiers that she didn't even think to spare them.

Kurt did not know what to do for his Sweet Excellency, so instead of trying to hug her or talk her through it, he patiently sat beside her, still giving her desired space. Hearing her sob was heart-breaking, but he had already scared her enough; he needed to be patient with her, or she'd never confide in him again. It was a long day of pain and suffering on De Sardet's part, and a long day of heartbreak and worry for Kurt. The death of Constantin was beginning to extract its toll.


	2. Hurt and Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to upload weekly, and I swear you will not have to wait two weeks for the next chapter. If there is a delay, it is due to the fact that I type this out, then read through for mistakes then I have another person proofread it before I publish it so I can avoid as many spelling errors as possible.
> 
> Thank you for your patience!

For her bravery and her will to restore the balance on Teer Fradee, Mev personally offered to look over De Sardet's injuries. Originally, Mev was going to return back to the native camps with her people, but De Sardet's condition and her strong ideals on preserving native beliefs had strengthened Mev's trust in her; she wished to give back De Sardet's constant support of her people. Admittedly, De Sardet was more comfortable being one-on-one with Mev as she did not know much about Constantin and would not pressure questions out of her during the examination, unlike the other healers.

De Sardet finally changed into the requested clothing with heavy support from Kurt and awaited Mev's arrival. The De Sardet residence was to be empty except for the two while the examination went on, allowing De Sardet to have some privacy while her entire body was poked and prodded. Kurt had waited outside of the house, acting as a bodyguard for the two; Siora had departed back with her people to heal those in need and to reunite with her sister, Eseld, after the conflict; Petrus had returned to Theleme and Aphra went back to the Region of Hikmet. Vasco was still in New Serene, but he saw it fit to let De Sardet have her space.

"_ On ol menawi _," Mev said in a low voice as she approached, "my people are grateful for what you have done. The earth sings in joy and for once, I do not feel disquiet in the air. But before we can go back and heal all the damages, I suppose that I should start with you as you are responsible for this." De Sardet did not feel the same joy, but she nodded numbly at her words. Mev gently knelt down beside her, at first taking a look over her body. The grey shirt was short-sleeved, so Mev already spotted the bruises scattered over her arms, ranging from light ones that would fade soon and others a nasty dark purple; depending on the severity, some even had narrow cuts on them.

"That devil did not do this to you, did he?" Mev said calmly as she looked at De Sardet. "No, he didn't. Even with all his power, he wouldn't have the will to do this, would he? It must of been a creature he manipulated." Weakly, De Sardet nodded, but at the thought of the fight caused her to tear up again. Mev said nothing of this, to spare her the humiliation. Mev continued with the examination, slowly rising to meet De Sardet's face. "I'm going to feel for broken bones, broken ribs. This is going to hurt, but I need to know what I'm working with before I can heal. Don't hesitate to react to any pain."

De Sardet adjusted how she was sitting to help Mev speed up the process, but Mev had to carefully press against her upper and lower ribs to pin-point the exact location of her injuries. Her upper chest was not injured as her armor had two layers of protection on that area, her lower chest had taken the brunt of the creatures attacks. Whenever it had pounced on her, it always managed to hit her ribs. The adrenaline of the fight had blocked off the pain and allowed De Sardet to keep fighting, without the said adrenaline now, it made her chest ache to breathe. She originally thought that the tightness in her chest came from her armor or maybe her soaked clothing, mostly wet from blood or sweat, sticking to her chest. But the shirt she wore now was loose fitting and barely resided against her chest, there was no more excuses to make. Mev continued on both sides of her chest until she had a solid idea on what had happened: if Mev was correct, De Sardet had three cracked ribs from either blunt trauma from the creature underneath Constantin's control, or the exact force of her armor getting slammed against her chest during each movement she made in the fight. At any rate, Mev would need to remedy her chest pains before De Sardet could go back to fighting or walking properly.

Without warning, Mev lifted De Sardet's shirt and fastened it just below her breasts. Where Mev predicted the cracked ribs were had giant, dark bruises on top of them. Faintly, Mev even spotted claw marks. Mev whispered a healing spell as a green and grey aura formed around her hands and around De Sardet; this was something De Sardet was accustomed to, Siora would periodically aid her more minor injuries while on the battlefield with her power as a donegiad. However, Mev was a much more powerful healer than Siora, and De Sardet was caught off-guard by the sudden surge throughout her body.

In a matter of seconds, her bones were properly healed together and her bruises were dissipated or faded partially; the sensation felt blissful and nauseating, De Sardet could not bear to handle it. All she has felt recently is the sure force of charged magic either inside of her or around her. De Sardet just wished the magic would stop, if just for a second…

"That should ease your suffering, _ on ol menawi _ . I hope the ground is finally soft beneath your feet from now on," Mev said as she went to take a step back, but De Sardet suddenly grabbed her arm. " _ On ol _—"

"Do you... do you really only see Constantin as a monster?" De Sardet's was hoarse. "You only refer to him as one, but... he wasn't always power hungry! If Doctor Asili hadn't poisoned him, none of this would have happened; he wouldn't have had to do the bonding ritual with—"

"Listen to yourself, _ on ol menawi _ ! You are defending the one person who threatened all balance! I see the truth of everyone I meet, and he was a monster. He threatened you, me, but worst of all, _ En on mil Frichtimen _ ! I do not pity him, nor do I mourn his death," Mev watched De Sardet flinch harshly at her words, but she could not stop now, "but I only regret that you had to spill his blood. My people would have done so willingly... and without remorse. But even now, the monster is hurting you, _ on ol menawi _. Why do you think I see him as a monster?"

De Sardet only realized she had started crying when Mev brushed away her tears. Everyone seemed to be happy for Constantin's death, but De Sardet could not celebrate such an event. She let go of Mev and covered her with her hands, hiding her tears. "I... I know he messed up in the end, but... he was still my cousin, and I will not refer to him as just a monster. I... I can't... Thank you, Mev, for your healing, but I'm fine now. You may return back to your people."

Mev severely doubted the truth behind her words, but she was also growing tired of the topic of Constantin. She gently cupped De Sardet's cheek with the mark of the _ on ol menawi _ before rising to take her leave, she bid goodbye in her native tongue and descended down the stairs. De Sardet listened to her fading footsteps until she heard the door open then shut. Once alone, De Sardet exhaled a heavy breath, one she didn't realize she was holding in.

"How is she?" Kurt asked Mev once she exited the De Sardet residence. "What was the extent of her injuries?"

"All her external injuries are already healed," Mev already knew De Sardet's royal protector was going to hound her for questions, so she came prepared, "but her internal wounds, I cannot heal. Only she can. I suggest she takes some time off to relax, unwind, and... recover fully. It was only yesterday that she killed the monster." Now out of earshot of De Sardet, Mev had less qualms about speaking lowly of Constantin. "Try and take her mind off of things. You are her _ minundhanem _, I'm sure there is some way you could please her." Kurt did not know how to take her crude comment and his ears burned at the thought, but he nodded all the same.

"I'll think over your suggestions. Have a safe travel back."

Once alone with his thoughts, Kurt scratched at the scruff on his face. De Sardet was still in her bedroom, and if he knew her well, she wouldn't want to leave until tomorrow; but he couldn't help but wonder if that would help or harm her. He definitely had one way he could distract, but he wasn't even in the mood for it. After a while, he conceded and entered the De Sardet residence, locking the door behind him so that no more people would bother her tonight.

* * *

Kurt laid next to a sleeping De Sardet, unable to keep himself from touching her long, black hair. She wore it up most of the time, tucked underneath a tri-cone so he rarely had the pleasure of seeing it down. It was soft to the touch, he teased it between his rough fingertips, careful to not do so too abruptly. De Sardet was a light sleeper, a necessary precaution of her line of work; Kurt, however, struggled to rest well at night, even with De Sardet. He did wake her up more than once in his restless nights, De Sardet was more than willing to help him unwind if it would ease his mind.

She seemed to know what people wanted and when they wanted, a skill acquired while training to be a diplomat. De Sardet knew how to sweet-talk her way anywhere, as long as she had enough information; and if her honeyed words did not succeed, then she grew as threatening as serpent, bending whomever stood in her way like a twig. Sometimes, Kurt found himself falling for her words, despite them not being directed towards him. De Sardet also knew how to fight, something Kurt, himself, could take credit for. But the time spent on Teer Fradee has strengthened her training and bolstered her with more experience; there was no doubt in Kurt's mind that De Sardet could take him down, be it by blade or by magic. He never pondered on when he started to fall for his charge, but if he were to guess, it was when the two first arrived to the island. De Sardet had many loyal companions, but she never yielded Kurt's help unless absolutely necessary. All the time they spent together, it must've forced out his feelings for the legate.

But now that the two were together, he could hardly believe how lucky he was. De Sardet was beautiful, strong, and wise; finding a man or woman willing to be with her would be an easy task, one of the same level of social status or class. But De Sardet picked him, Kurt. Captain of the Coin Guard. When he admitted he no longer felt like a brother to the legate but more than that, he was scared that she would've been disgusted and rejected him on the spot. What would a legate like De Sardet need from a mercenary captain such as himself? De Sardet, however, did neither, and admitted that she, too, had grown past their old bonds.

He would never forget that night. It was ingrained in his memory, igniting him whenever he needed a will to push past conflict. Kurt remembered how De Sardet said his name, or her hands on his body, even now he ached for it.

But Kurt knew how inappropriate these thoughts were. She was in mourning, and he should be, too.

Kurt gently parted De Sardet's hair and kissed the back of her neck, something he did in his own desires before he withdrew once more. It was late, she had a long day, it would be unfair to wake her up now. Once he seized control of his body once more, he flipped onto his side and shut his eyes. De Sardet's bed was smooth and soft, and her pillows were stuff with feathers; he doubted he would ever get adjusted to such commodities, but it was worth it all the same to be with her.

When Kurt closed his eyes and exhaled a heavy breath, releasing the tension in his muscles, De Sardet flipped and held onto his back. She had buried her face in-between his bare shoulder blades, her eyes wet with tears. "Kurt..." De Sardet let out a soft cry into him, her entire body was soon pressed into his back side as she clung to the male. "You won't go, too, right?"

"What—? Of course not, Sweet Excellency," he replied, unable to comprehend what she was saying. Gently, he covered her small hand with his own, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "I will always be right here. Right by your side. Even if you don't want me to," Kurt whispered into the night, his eyes still shut. "Why do you ask?"

"I... I just... I'm sick of losing the ones I love," she admitted, "first my mother, then—... then Constantin. If I lost you, too; I don't even—," De Sardet struggled to finish the sentence, her throat clogged with overflowing tears. Her small body shuddered against Kurt, as if she was trying to burrow inside of him. His heart grew heavy with worry for the legate, these doubts seemed to get worse when it got quiet all around. Quietly, Kurt replied.

"You won't lose me, Sweet Excellency. If I can help it... you won't lose anyone else, either," Kurt knew that he may not be able to hold up his word, but De Sardet did not need to know that. She just needed comfort.


	3. Fight For Survival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long, long, long break I took. I have been dealing a lot of stuff emotionally and had no time to actually sit and write, and if I tried, it wouldn't have been pretty. I will try to be more consistent from here on out.

When the Ordo Luminis was disbanded, its members fled in a flurry of panic; they were displaced and no longer welcomed in Theleme, so they saw fit to leave. After their atrocious acts, many did not miss their presence, but it was foolish to think that the Ordo Luminis was done. It had been a month since the death of Constantin and when the Mother Cardinal disbanded the Ordo Luminis, but now there were whispers of a Neo-Ordo Luminis. People worried about the well-being of natives for the first time as now the members would be fueled by hatred, rejection, and betrayal as they would perceive the disbanding; this could lead to them performing worse attacks on natives or taking more extreme measures to "convert" the natives as they lacked time to take things slow. Once word reached the Mother Cardinal Cornelia, De Sardet was called to Theleme.

De Sardet was perceived as the most experienced for a situation like the one at hand, she had dealt with the Ordo Luminis many times while attempting to restore relations with many native camps; she disliked the Ordo Luminis for their practices, not whom they prayed to. They often made visits to native camps difficult, and natives often would turn away from her as they feared the worse. But De Sardet managed. She had to rescue many natives from Ordo Luminis clutches to gain their trust meanwhile damaging her relationship with Theleme, but De Sardet did not mind as long as it meant doing the correct thing.

De Sardet responded immediately to the Mother Cardinal's request, feeling better than ever. The first week was the most painful week of her life, but after she had some time to recover and clear her mind, she was back to her Legate self. Though the impending election for governor of New Serene wore heavy on her mind, she brushed it off. The job of a Legate was never fully done, in her mind.

"Lady De Sardet, I thank you for coming as soon as you could. I believe the situation has grown more dire since you received my letter." The Mother Cardinal spoke, her gloved hands dropping from praying. Kurt and Siora stood behind De Sardet, Siora still was uncomfortable inside of the religious city even with the Ordo Luminis being disbanded. "We have had reports of kidnappings, but we could not prove anything until we received this..." The Mother Cardinal stepped towards De Sardet and handed her an opened letter, carefully De Sardet opened it with a gloved hand and read the fine print closely. What entailed inside the letter was horrifying, it explained in great detail what the Neo-Ordo Luminis planned to do to their kidnapped victims unless they were formally reinstated in Theleme. De Sardet felt her blood run cold at the thought of the horrors they may have to face if she did not respond fast enough to this plea. "Obviously, you understand the urgency we are under."

"Yes... yes, I do. Tell me, when did these kidnappings begin?" De Sardet asked, returning the letter back to the Mother Cardinal.

"About three weeks ago, but I... hesitated contacting you earlier due to the circumstances," De Sardet withheld a grimace at her words, so the Mother Cardinal proceeded. "I thought we could handle the kidnappings on our own as it is rude to ask someone of your ability for such a minor task—that it was at the moment—but the Neo-Ordo Luminis is angry. They do not listen to reason. I even offered them safety to return if they forsake their old ways," the Mother Cardinal shook her head in frustration, "but they refused. Now they are kidnapping more of my people and from my knowledge, they are kidnapping natives who finally felt safe to visit our cities. If we cannot mend this situation, then I fear the natives will never trust us. No matter what we do."

"Do you have an idea where they are posted? Do you know where they were last spotted, Your Eminence?"

"Domitius was spotted somewhere near The Black Lands some time recently, if we were to assume them posted anywhere, it would be there." The Mother Cardinal informed De Sardet. "He must be holding the hostages there, as well, along with all the other Neo-Ordo Luminis members. I suspect that if they spot you, they won't hesitate to harm their victims. So, I..."

"Yes, I know. I will avoid detection until I can guarantee their safety, I wouldn't risk your people's lives for my goal. Your Eminence, I must leave you. The sooner I can promise your people's safety, the better." De Sardet took her leave from Theleme once she had all the necessary preparations for the journey. Taking a wagon would be quicker, but it would draw too much attention to her and her party to the Neo-Ordo Luminis—on foot it would have to be, but it was fine to De Sardet. The callouses on her feet made the long walks less painful.

* * *

De Sardet ducked behind a sturdy tree, the thickness of the stump hid her frame as she peaked past—the tree was located on top of a grassy overhang of the Neo-Ordo Luminis campsite, allowing for her to look over the entire camp and get a general idea of what she was stepping into. The campsite itself was simple, the ground was flat for the most part which provided the Neo-Ordo Luminis with easy set up of tents, fire places, and tall, wooden stakes in the ground. The stakes were thick, similar to a tree, and raised far up—it was taller than most Neo-Ordo Luminis members, De Sardet noticed, when they walked past. The stakes were being utilized as a means to physically restrain their kidnapped victims; the largest of stakes had five people tied around it, all close together in proximity with either their back or face against the stake. Their wrists were worn red and blistered, De Sardet assumed this was from the rubbing and grafting of the rope around their wrists.

The stakes were littered in the backside of the camp, disorderly organized and staggered across the flat land. Natives and the Theleme people were noticeably separated, with the Theleme people closer to the actual tents whereas the natives were thrust in the back; but the victims looked similar in terms of injuries. There was always injured people bound up from the injuries ranging from black eyes, busted lips or broken noses, some having all of the above. But De Sardet assumed there was more than what she could actually see. Blood stained the grass below the victims and it ran down the parts of the stake that the victims had contact with. Even now, De Sardet observed victims starting to cough weakly before it evolved into a coughing fit, typically ending with some—or a lot—of blood spilling out of their bruises lips. The sight of the atrocity made her feel sick; De Sardet could not comprehend the level of cruelty these men stooped to over an unjust organization. Siora, however, was fuming in anger; and De Sardet understood all too well why she was so furious. This was supposed to be a time of peace, a time of unity between the natives of Teer Fradee and the colonists, but instead acts of violence against natives were seeming to increase instead of decreasing.

"Those monsters... they have no shame," Siora spat out, with how hard she was clenching her fist, she was starting to draw blood from the palm of her hand; her entire body shook, the trembles most evident in her hands and eyes. "We have done nothing to them yet they cull us like animals."

De Sardet grabbed Siora's shoulder once she stepped back from overlook, leading her back to a safe distance away—she needed to debrief her party on what to do next, and De Sardet could not risk blowing her incognito while discussing how to proceed. Siora stepped back, reluctantly, but the anger burned in her chest, filling her lungs. Once Kurt and Siora were gathered around her, De Sardet started: "The way I see it, we have two options on what to do next. We either attack now, utilizing our element of surprise to stun the Neo-Ordo Luminis and once they are stunned, I would use a mass stasis to give me time to untie the hostages; the two of you would be on standby, ready to defend me and repel their attacks which are sure to come once they realize why we are here. This would be much faster and would prevent any future injuries to the hostages, but it puts them in incredible harm if we are too slow. I would never forgive myself if a single hostage dies here tonight."

De Sardet explained in a low, emotionless voice; she chose to solely focus on the facts available without letting her emotions get involved—her face was also flat, devoid of any emotion. Constantin, in the past, teased her when she spoke like this, saying she looked like all of their tutors when he messed up. Cold and strict. De Sardet would correct him, saying this is her "Legate" voice—but that would only lead to more teasing from Constantin, typically consisting of him calling her too serious or a try-hard.

"And option two...?" Kurt said, snapping De Sardet out of her thoughts. Though she appeared to have a poker face, he could still notice when she was zoning off.

De Sardet's eyes widened when he snapped her out of her daze, but she covered this with the clearing of her throat. "The... the other option is that we wait until nightfall, we would use the cover of darkness to sneak inside the camp and would use our time undetected to free the hostages—once freed, we would escort them to safety then commence with the offensive. We wouldn't have to worry about rushing to free the hostages, but it would be entirely possible that we get detected in the process, and then we would have to play out scenario one. Only this time we would be less prepared because we would be the ones being caught off-guard, not the Ordo-Luminis." De Sardet reported. "But that would not be the only issue with this option. It is obvious the Neo-Ordo Luminis is beating the hostages daily, for what I do not know but it can't be anything good."

Siora's gaze turned dark—exactly what De Sardet was apprehensive about.

"We would have to listen to the beating and torture of both Theleme citizens and the native people, and I wonder if we can all handle that without making a rash decision," De Sardet explained smoothly, keeping her face flat, but Siora knew who she was referring to.

"If anything, we should give the Neo-Ordo Luminis a taste of their own medicine!" Siora hissed, venom spewing with her lips. "Carants, you have no idea how long my people have been beaten, tortured, humiliated, forcibly converted and worse by these monsters! A beast has more honor than these renagise...!" Just as De Sardet suspected, she spotted blood on Siora's fingertips; she had dug her nails into her flesh and was close to doing it again. "I do not care who they are, but what they are doing to innocent people is unacceptable. I won't just sit around and—"

"—Siora, I understand! But attacking out of rage leaves you reckless, you are bound to make more mistakes and you know as well as what the Neo-Ordo Luminis will do if they manage to capture you, out of everyone, a donegiad..."

"They wouldn't even get a chance to lay a finger on me," Siora walked up to De Sardet, almost chest-to-chest with the Legate, "and if they did, it would be the last time they ever touch me again." De Sardet frowned at Siora's enraged attitude, Siora was a strong warrior and a stronger donegiad but anger was not an attribute De Sardet enjoyed seeing. Often caught in the cross-fire of these conflicts, it was not the first time she saw this side of Siora. Raw, angry, but hurting, especially. De Sardet could feel the raw power radiating from Siora alone, but no matter how powerful she was, rushing in with blind rage did more harm than good.

"You need to calm down, Siora." De Sardet spoke lowly.

"I need to calm down? Calm down?! NO! I'm sick and tired of staying calm when my people are hurt. I WILL NOT—!"

Kurt was just about to split up the two before Siora shouted any louder, alerting the camp that was not that far away when the sound of gunfire alerted the trio. Then soon it was the staggering De Sardet that brought a deadly silence.

Blood. Dark, angry blood. It gushed out faster and faster by the second.

Siora could only stare and watch it bleed out of her dear carants; a Neo-Ordo Luminis lackey snuck up on the party once the argument ensued, originally only slipping out for a patrol before he overhead unfamiliar voice. She was shot through the shoulder, by a rifle, and the bullet wound was now black with blood. Her armor—recently cleaned—now streaked over with blood.

"How dare you?!" Kurt now exploded, rushing toward the Neo-Ordo Luminis lackey as he rapidly reloaded his rifle, cocking another bullet into place. Siora, too stunned, watched everything happen. De Sardet, however, saw a familiar scene play out in her head and desperately rushed forward, tackling Kurt to the ground as another round was shot—this one grazed past De Sardet's cheek as they fell to the ground. Pain exploded through her body, but De Sardet had to fight—it wasn't just her life now on the line, every single hostage in the camp was now in mortal danger. She drew her pistol and fired into the Neo-Ordo Luminis lackey's knee, causing him to crumble over.  
The fight for survival had just begun. For her, for Siora, and for Kurt.

And every single defenseless hostage.


	4. Follow My Lead

The Neo-Ordo Luminis soldier fell back once De Sardet fired into his knee cap, wailing loudly in pain whilst blood squirted from the wound. He tripped over a tree root and fell over the overhang, tumbling down the dirt side and in front of a suddenly alerted Neo-Ordo Luminis soldier. The injured soldier was lying in a fetal position with his hands squeezing his wounded leg, his cries of pain only growing louder from the dirt mixed into the exposed wound and irritated from rough movement. Another soldier bent down next to the soldier before shouting loudly, alerting everyone who wasn’t immediately alerted to the gun shot.

“We’re under attack! Nick is injured!” The soldier assisting Nick, the injured soldier, shouted whilst dragging him back; De Sardet was pushing herself from the ground with a pained grunt before rushing to the edge of the overhang. “It’s… it’s the legate! The Merchant Congregation has officially attacked us!” The soldier sneered, his tone taking a much darker turn once De Sardet was in clear view of the camp. She gritted her teeth; they attacked first yet she was the guilty party—this would soon change.

“Stop! Your soldier, Nick, shot me first!” De Sardet declared loudly, her voice ringing throughout the camp. “He fired at me when my back was turned to him, when I was completely defenseless and with my guard down! Are you such cowards that you can only attack the defenseless?!” She called out, throwing her arms out wide; the camp went silent, no one daring to even breathe out a response to the question. “Then the answer is obvious.”

De Sardet drew another breath, about to continue her speech when a familiar face stepped out from the crowd—Domitius. He held himself with pride despite the atrocious crimes he was currently committing against the natives and Theleme people. De Sardet frowned down at the former leader, her hands moving to her saber.

“Ah, Lady De Sardet. I would say it is a pleasure to see you again, but I know you have brought the filthy native with you—haven’t you, dear legate?” Domitius asked, his arms folded behind his back, with a clear, calm voice. Currently, De Sardet was the only one visible, but his comment made Siora lurch out in frustration. “There she is. You are a woman of class, Lady De Sardet. You do not have to associate yourself with such… unintelligent beasts. However, if she is willing to—”

De Sardet thrust her arm in front of Siora, stopping her from moving any further; her eyes seemed to read: _let me handle this_. “Domitius, your Mother Cardinal misses you truly. She wants you to return to Theleme, uninjured, along with the rest of her people. We don’t have to fight.” De Sardet kept her voice level despite the growing pain in her shoulder, it was growing progressively more difficult to pretend there was no problem. “You have ignored the full pardon before, but let me offer you another. Let your prisoners leave unharmed and surrender your arms, and I will put in a good word with you for the Mother Cardinal. You have my word.”

Domitius kept a flat face as De Sardet offered the pardon. She hoped he would take the offer, fighting with an injured arm would be a straining ordeal; but until he accepted, she had to pretend that she was still the powerful legate. If even the slightest sign of weakness, then this would all be for nothing.

“Be smart about this.”

“I don’t have to take this from a filthy heretic.” Domitius sneered before drawing his pistol. De Sardet sucked in a quick breath and jumped off the overhang, flashing forward with the help of her light magic and ending up right in front of Domitius. Before he had the opportunity to fire, she grabbed the pistol and tugged it out of hand, throwing away from the two before kicking him hard in the shin. Negotiations failed. De Sardet had no choice but to fight to keep the prisoners alive and well. Kurt and Siora followed right behind her once they, too, realized that talking would not be the way out of this situation.

The camp was alit with combat and the smell of gunfire. Siora was noticeably aggressive with her strikes, not sparring a shred of mercy for the Neo-Ordo Luminis members as she lunged forward; she sliced open ones neck with her blade, cutting it clean before the fire on the blade singed the flayed skin. The soldier gurgled on blood for no less than a second before slumping over, lifeless. Kurt was much more composed in his approach, though his was more defensive than offensive.

The soldiers were either trying to head for the hostages or Domitius who was fighting a losing battle against De Sardet who would either parry his blade with unmatching efficiency or blast him back with her light magic; Domitius was growing slow in his old age whereas De Sardet was in her prime, especially with the constant and aggressive fighting required to survive the harsh terrain of Teer Fradee wilderness. Kurt had to keep any stragglers that De Sardet did not immediately notice away from her, acting as a barrier between her and the soldiers.

Kurt, whom was naturally strong, was able to mostly knock back soldiers, even when they came in groups. His well sharpened broadsword frightened them away from getting too close as it had long range and devastating results if it managed to scrape against their unarmored body parts. The sound of blades clashing rang in his ears, either from his own or De Sardet’s.

“Just… surrender and no one else dies!” De Sardet yelled at Domitius as she was struggling against his own blade, preventing him from moving forward but preventing herself from making an offensive slice towards him. The burning sensation in her shoulder was becoming unbearable, every clashing of her blade sent miserable shots of pain through her shoulders and down her spine. “You—You would really risk your men for a pointless struggle?!” She asked raggedly as Domitius broke off, staggering backwards; beads of sweat rolled down De Sardet’s forehead. “Is Ordo Luminis really worth this much to you, Domitius?!”

Domitius charged her and slashed down, aiming her for her injured soldier; De Sardet clenched a fist, forming a light magic shield around herself that deflected his attack, finally giving her an opening. She swung towards his hand holding his blade and sliced his wrist. Domitius let out an ugly cry of pain, immediately dropping the blade to nurse the gushing wound. Now De Sardet was panting from exertion, but the fight was ending soon. She was sure of it. She stepped towards Domitius who was pathetically crawling away from her, trying to put as much space as possible between the two.

“Stay… stay back, heretic!” Domitius cursed out, ripping out a chunk of grass and dirt before tossing it at De Sardet. She swatted it away from herself, a displeased expression burning into her features. “I… I mean it! Stay back—!”

“Stop it! Have some dignity, Domitius!” De Sardet scolded before tilting her blade at his throat; Domitius felt his breath become lodged in his throat from fear. “The battle is done. Call of your men and admit defeat!” She commanded, nudging his narrow throat with the tip of her blade, causing a tiny cut to form.

His men still fought against Siora and Kurt, while a minority seemed frozen in place, as if awaiting his next order. Kurt glanced back at the two, holding back two soldiers who were locked in place by his broadsword. Siora was holding a soldier in place with vines as she kicked back another, keeping herself safe. The air seemed charged with tension, everyone was holding their breath.

“I…,” Domitius paused, his attention momentarily faltering off of De Sardet; but after he was paying attention to her again, his attitude changed. “I will never surrender, heretic!”

De Sardet could not process why his attitude immediately shifted, but it did not matter. She raised her blade to go for the killing blow when she noticed in the corner of her eye a soldier charging at her; Kurt yelled out something to her but everything became muffled. The soldier flipped the blade in their hand and rushed at De Sardet, she turned to try and parry the attack but was too slow to respond—the soldier plunged the blade in her side, missing their desired area of her heart. De Sardet felt as if she had just been struck in the side, but the sight of blood—her blood—on the sword told her otherwise. The soldier twisted the blade, causing a terrible, guttural cry of pain out of her lips before she came to her senses, blasting the soldier away with the blade still in her side.

_Can’t… pass out_. De Sardet staggered backwards before falling over, causing the blade to tear more into her. The pain was excruciating, causing black spots in her vision. She shakily drew her pistol and tried to fire at Domitius but the combination of her trembling aim and his evasive maneuver, she missed. _The hostages. I need to get to them_. She thought desperately, failing to cock the pistol again as Domitius stood up. Everything felt quiet, but Siora and Kurt were yelling to her—she just couldn’t hear them. _I need to…_

Soon, everything went dark.

* * *

De Sardet gasped and shot awake, dazed and confused on where she was. She last remembered the Ordo Luminis camp and the smell of gunpowder, and she remembered facing off with Domitius and nearly winning the battle, as well. But soon after that, her memory was hazy, blurred with pain and misery that she could not explain. She glanced around her new setting to notice she was in her residence in Theleme, presumably, with her armor stripped and set to the side. She was instead in a long, ankle-length nightgown that was soft as silk. De Sardet gingerly pressed her fingers to the fabric before noticing the bandage on her face, around her shoulder, and her lower chest.

“... oh.” De Sardet frowned as it slowly came back to her. Someone caught her off-guard and impaled her side, but anything after that was hazy. She presumed she passed out from shock and pain. “That’s right.”

“... yes, she is fine, she’s just… I appreciate it, but we would rather be left alone…” De Sardet overheard a lingering conservation from downstairs. “... I’ll make sure she receives your gratitude… yes, yes… have a safe travel.” With that, it was followed by the shutting of her residence door. Soon after, the steps of walking upstairs. De Sardet tugged the covers to her body without really knowing why—it was only Kurt after all—but she felt the urge to cover up regardless. The steps became louder until Kurt was at the top of the stairs, his dark brown hair was disheveled by him running his palm through it; he seemed tired, there was deep set bags underneath his eyes. As De Sardet observed closer, he had a dark bruise along his cheekbone but otherwise he seemed fine.

De Sardet gripped the silky sheets tightly, her knuckles turning white from her grasp. A question burned on her mind, _did we fail_? She knew what failure felt like: failed exams, missed strikes in training, and failed lessons, but those failures did not include the lives of innocent people. How would this affect their relationship with Theleme? If any of those kidnapped citizens had died, then the Mother Cardinal would blame her. With how tired and stressed Kurt seemed, De Sardet assumed the worst. And Siora…

“Kurt, I…,” De Sardet bit her bottom lip, “... I’m so sorry.”

“Sweet Excellency, I do appreciate you wanting to take the blame all the time but sometimes I wish you would just say nothing at all.” Kurt paused. “No, I… I didn’t mean it like that. I just can’t stand it when something goes wrong and you have to take all the responsibility. You have always been like this. If negotiations fail, it was because you weren’t persuasive enough. If you fail a test, it’s because you didn’t devote fifty more hours to study on top of your one hundred. And if Constantin went out on his drinking rampage more so than usual, it’s because you didn’t keep him on a shorter leash!” Kurt clenched a tight fist before exhaling a heavy breath. De Sardet stayed silent as he vented, it seemed a floodgate of pent up emotions were spilling out rapidly. “Do you think it’s really healthy to act like everything is your fault all the time?”

“Well, I… I mean, of course I don’t… I was just…” De Sardet hugged the blanket to her chest, her gaze tilted down at her embroidered bed sheets. She was so used to taking responsibility without anyone offering to take the pressure off of her shoulders, even when it started to take a serious toll on her. She did have to grow up practically babysitting Constantin, and when she started her lessons, she constantly studied to have the highest marks; Constantin never did the same, but he didn’t have to. He had a silver spoon in his mouth his entire childhood plus the fact that he was the direct heir to the throne; De Sardet was a silver spoon child, but she was no more than his cousin. Now she knows she wasn’t even that, she was a native child that was simply adopted by a royal member; if people learned of her true blood ties, they would think lowly of her. That’s why she was so desperate to keep up the perfect image. “I was just raised this way, Kurt.”

“I… look, I know you were. But you really need to start working against these habits if we ever want to move past the… well, past. I was trained to—,” his throat tightened as he spoke, “—I was trained to do horrible things, and through that training, horrible things happened to me; but I managed to work through this. I still am but I don’t want to be the man the Coin Guard wanted me to be—at least, not the same Coin Guard that wanted to overthrow the throne—I want to be better.” He moved to De Sardet’s side and crouched down beside the bed, gently taking her hand. “I want to be better for you, for our future, but most importantly, I want to be better for myself. I want to be a man of honor and respect.”

De Sardet shut her eyes as Kurt spoke, her eyelids feeling heavy. “Please. Just tell me, Kurt… did you and Siora save the hostages?” She asked, reopening and meeting his tired gaze.

“Yes, Sweet Excellency. A few were injured severely, but Siora used a lot of her magic to heal them. That’s why your injuries have to heal the old fashioned way. You will be bed ridden for a bit.”

De Sardet nodded and leaned forward, resting her own head against Kurt. A heavy weight was lifted off her shoulders for once, though it was a minor one. “Thank you, Kurt. That was very nice to hear.” She replied gently. “And about your speech… I will try to follow your example. This time around, I will let you lead.”


End file.
